GeRi16's Xanga

A change in perspective

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 05:53:29 GMT

I remember one of my friends telling me this when i was really depressed 5 years ago after the breakup. He said whatever you are feeling at this moment - depressed, worried, stress etc., you will not remember them ten years down the road. At that point in time, i felt that what he said didn't make sense (i went to dig up the post i wrote then) because my stand was, how can someone forget the memories with her first boyfriend, right?

I was right because i will never forget those sweet memories, but my friend was right as well in the sense that now when i think about those moments when i cried every night, i can't remember exactly the pain that i went through. Probably it is not about not remembering how you feel ten years down the road but those feelings will become insignificant to you. You'll just look back and smile and be glad that you went through such a phase in your life which helps you to grow into the person you are today. It is true. I speak from experience.

I am glad i didn't act strong at that moment, i'm glad i cried every night, i'm glad i was depressed, i'm even more glad that i healed after that because at this very moment, i don't feel sad anymore about what happened and i am proud I went through that phase. For if not, i wouldn't have known what a relationship is and how do i need to prepare myself before i get into the next one. we learn from experience.

I believe you will heal and i know it takes time, but do remember people around you are looking out for you just in case you need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. Don't make those who care worry for too long. That is what i've learnt as well.

And if you are sad and stressed about exams, the same concept applies. Ten years down the road, what are exams seriously? What are exams results? A+, B+, C+? I can't even remember what my grade was for Anatomy in Year One, what more to say ten years from now when I am a mom (hopefully *fingers crossed*) who is preparing dinner for the family, will i even think about exams results? Obviously not.

For as long as we do not go out clubbing every single night when exams' round the corner, i think we all deserve to call ourselves good students, for we have all tried. =)

Let's do our best, friends, sad or stressed, let's move on together!

Joy in small packets

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:45:10 GMT

Despite all the tests, stress and pimples, I am feeling quite happy recently because joy comes in small servings! :)))))))))))))))))))))) hehehehhe.... cheap happiness la i am experiencing, because it's out of the norm that's why i feel happy! yayy!!! No point looking at the downside of everything right? Enjoy the every little blessings that God has given us, that's the way to go man. No matter what happens in your life, it is for a reason, a greater purpose that God has planned for you, for your happiness. So, cheer up guys! SMiLEeeeeeeee! (since when I am so optimistic? I shock myself!)

Hehehe.. and I am not ready to be the "dumbest, lousiest, stupidest, idiotic, silliest, useless, hopeless, of-no-use-to-the-society big FAT failure loser girl" so yay! not going to say why i am so happyyyyyyyyyyy! hahahhaha.

idiot

The end of your story.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:57:45 GMT

I have a test tomorrow, and tomorrow. Yay! But I still want to write this post because i feel emo. =p It should be a significant post, i hope because i've decided to...... (shit, it is harder than i thought to write this down), i've decided to end the story here. this story is nothing interesting. it's just a story of a silly girl (me) being crazily head over heels in love with a guy (you). after this post, if i ever mention a "him" or "you" again in my future posts, i will be the dumbest, lousiest, stupidest, idiotic, silliest, useless, hopeless, of-no-use-to-the-society big FAT failure loser girl (well, seriously not that i mind being one), but this post is here to remind me for (the next i donno how many days) as long as my blog can accomodate that i am not supposed to be so crazy about you again.

But before that, i still want to recall what i've been through for the past 9 months. Yes, it's exactly 9 months since i first met you. =) I am seriously a damn crazy girl. 9 months freak! The two weeks i had to do the project with you, that was like hell i wish it could happen again. Then no sight of you for a few months except the few occasions i saw you from very far away. damn stupid. Then, wheeeeeeeeeeeee, the super surprising appearance of you in the same lecture. That's like super wheeeeeeeEEEEEeeee, you really dont know how happy i was. Ok, so i had one more sem to see you once every week, ummmm but it wasn't exactly like that because sometimes you skipped class, and sometimes i skipped class? and that stupid e-learning week which wasted my one chance of seeing you! hahahahaha... But anyway, from all these weeks i only had occasional smiles from you and i call that energy booster. damn it! i am a freak! well, only until last week and today that i got to talk to you in class. for two weeks, why did you have to tell me how much work you've got? hahahha...i guess i look like that nerd whom you can only discuss school work with, but it's okay, at least i got to hear you talk right? geeeeee... and today was the last lecture! why did we only start talking like towards the last two lecture!?!?! T_T........... Hence this super emo post because I don't know when will i meet you again. i don't even have a situation of meeting you that i can dream of and wish that it will come true like how the dream of you giving me a ride and the dream of being in the same lecture with you came true. i just don't know how to dream anymore.

I can only dream of you being a very handsome bridegroom on your wedding day, with a tall, slim, beautiful and smart bride beside you because you deserve it. I wish you all the best and i know you will do very well and you will always smile and i love your smile so much! please keep smiling because i believe many other girls fall in love with your smile too. I really hope i wont forget how you look like.

Till we meet again~

Damn. What is thisS?!?! farewell post!?!?! so funny and embarrassing but i'm still going to post it up anyway...... That's me, geri and welcome to my world.

g.u.y.s.

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:37:22 GMT

Quoted from a friend, damn funny:

"make up thick enuf to plaster the walls, dress that leaves nothing to the imagination.. so many such girls
for fun guys will go for them but when they finally grow brains instead of dick and learn to think, such girls go to the bin."

distracted from studying

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:58:02 GMT

i don't feel like doing anything at all. i think probably it's time to sleep but i have tonnes of work piled up for me to do. =( i've had enough! HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

somebody get me out of here!!!!! urghhhhhh! *pukes*

this is the reason why i went to check for flights to go home after my last lesson next Monday. I have two weeks to the final exam. i can go home for a week and the air ticket is freaking cheap!!! $64 to and fro all included!!!! SO cheap can? And my big bro will be home too, and most likely this year end when I am back home he won't be going back. That's the main reason I want to go back... family unite again! sigh.. stupid final exams! Actually i really can go back, is just whether i'm willing to sacrifice the studying time.

But i can so see myself puking blood while studying for the next 2 weeks. Wah sien! T_T

How, big dilemma. guess my mom will most likely ask me to stay and study. ah wellllsssssss......... that's a logical and more responsible thing to do anyway........

I feel so painful to see u get hurt, dammit. can't u just take care a bit? my worry for your safety finally proves itself justifiable right? but unfortunately, i am not in any position to worry for you. sigh, all i can do is just pray daily for your safety. pleaseeeeeeeeee takeeeeeeeee careeeeeeeeeeeee! urgh! so not good for my heart.

randomly psychotic

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 14:45:58 GMT

.....and then i wonder, what am i doing? i sit here and stare, too numb to do anything else. It's dark and cold, a peaceful night. Playing a sentimental song makes my heart cringes. Then the thought comes, warms the heart, dilates the blood vessels and makes me blush.

Mixed feelings - quiet but anxious, blissful but unhappy, relaxed but restless, hopeful but dejected. I hear the birds chirping, I imagine the blue sky, I feel the sea breeze but I see myself drowning. Then i wonder again, why am i writing these crap? and wonder, who reads these crap?

Who reads my blog? You, you and you? No, it must be you! Ok, this is getting out of control. I totally sound like a psychotic. It's okay, i just love random writing. Do you like it? I just wasted your 60 seconds of precious life.

wooohooo~

I suddenly like to sit in a dark little room and wonder about life. I am truly ageing.

Do you love me? I love you, babe.

Bad day with good stuff to make up for it

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 10:12:11 GMT

It was a bad day. woke up at 7.40am, 20 minutes before my 8am class because instead of setting alarm on my phone last night, i changed my phone to silent mode. wonder what was i thinking!? so i brushed my teeth, skipped breakfast and made it on time to class.

Then my next lecture was 4pm to 6pm. As usual came back to hall, took a nap in the afternoon and woke up at 345pm, 15 minutes before lecture again??!?!?!? Seriously, what's wrong with me? But again, i made it on time to class. Heh. :) coolness right?

But the day ended off (oh wells, hasnt really ended) with something good. Sometimes you just don't need to look forward to or wish very hard and the thing you want most just happens, in the most unexpected way and moment. If I have to go through such a bad day just to be able to get that few minutes of conversation with you, I really don't mind waking up late and rushing for lectures every single day. =)

I am damn in love with your smile.

ageing

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:14:10 GMT

I must be getting old. I've never felt so much pain after training. Now my feet, my thigh, my ankles are hurting even though i did not train that hard. My chest also hurts once in a while, sporadic pain. Oh dear, am i having some kind of heart disease that i'm not aware of. scary.

- barely surviving

life's over

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 08:02:21 GMT

i am lost for words but i still feel the need to blog even though i really don't know what to write.

.............

oh c'mon, how?

it feels like i am under general anesthesia because i'm feeling numb all over - eyes, hands, fingers, legs, head, brain, mouth and the heart. it must be school and the lack of life, real life.

nothings seems to excite me anymore these days, not even your name. i'm really losing it.

:(

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 08:27:01 GMT

i feel so sick.